Baby

Many of you know of the struggle that Jason and I have gone through trying to get pregnant. We have tried for years and haven't been able to succeed. A couple of years ago we sold all of the baby stuff that we had bought on clearance, at garage sales, etc. since we needed the money. I had thought that I had put it in God's hands, and handed the issue over to him. And that I was fine with that, and that if it was His will, then I would get pregnant. I have even told people that...and that if it happens, it happens. Sure it was still hard to hear news that people were pregnant, but I was genuinely happy for them, and still am. But this brings me to today...

Today while running errands, I had in one of my Glee CD's and since I don't know what songs are on what yet, I just let the CD run. Then on came this song.

I had heard this song before, on Glee in even, and it didn't effect me. But today this song did. I immediately started to cry as the song played. Stopped a red light. Literally sobbing. I was a mess. I had one of those deep down gut feelings that I would never get to experience being pregnant. Having a baby. Being a mom. That no one would ever say those words to me.

Now I'm sure that someone is going to say something to the effect of "You don't know that." or perhaps, "You could get pregnant." And you are right, I don't know for sure. But it was one of those deep down feelings that I would never get to experience this wondrous event.