I am still having the missionaries come over tonight. Thanks to Sue's comments on my other blog. She touched me and made me cry. It means so much to me that she posted that. Thank you Sue, you are amazing.
Watch this Video. This is my current favorite song. Listen to the words. This is what you need to do.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Worried
I'm worried about the missionaries coming over tomorrow, lol. I know that sounds wierd to you, but I am. I'm worried that they will ask me questions that I don't have answers to, I'm afraid of answering the questions "wrong." Not remembering anything that I have read. Plus this sounds lame, but I'm worried about inviting them in the house. Before, we sat outside on the picnic table in the yard. Tomorrow there are supposedly thunderstorms and I'm worried about them in the house. We live in an older house, in need of major fixing uping, which we are doing as money and time allows, but it's not in the best shape. It's clean, but not in the best condition. I'm thinking about calling and seeing if they can't come over another time.....
Questions and Music
It's been a couple days since I've blogged, and that's mainly because I have no idea what to write about. There goes my idea of updating on a daily basis, lol. :)
Not much is new this week. Jason and I went out to dinner last night at Red Lobster and it was yummy. Love going there. Jason isn't into seafood at all, so it's a real treat when we go there.
I finally sent out Shane's CD's to him. Actually Jason dropped them off at the post office last night. That only took me just short of forever to get them sent out.
Headaches. I hate them. A few months ago I was having awful headaches and they just wouldn't go away. This is day 2 of this one for me. It's awful. Not even the combination of ibuprofen and Tylenol is touching it. Usually that wipes out just about any headache I get. Someone said I should try Excedrin. I need to go to the store to pick some up.
The missionaries are coming over again tomorrow night. I don't think Jason was really comfortable with them around before, and since he works tomorrow night I figure that would be perfect. I mixed up a batch of cookies last night, but didn't bake them. I need to bake the cookies tonight for them. Also need to straighten up the house a bit and vacuum. Nothing too bad, just general clean up. :)
Music. I need more music. I just got another itunes gift card and now have over $70 sitting in my account. I need to spend some of it, and I want some new songs. So what are some good songs? Or some of your all time favorites, new or old? I'm huge into music and love just about everything, so I'm not too picky.
Questions. A couple of the scrapbook blogs that I read, they have done a Q&A session. Basically people who read their blog post questions and then you answer them. Now I don't have a huge following on my blog, in fact I only know of a few people who read this, but figured since I have no clue what to do write about I would give it a shot. So post your questions, anything and everything, and I will answer in a future post. I think that might be fun. So post away. I want to answer questions, lol. The questions can be anything, so ask anything. Have fun with it!
Not much is new this week. Jason and I went out to dinner last night at Red Lobster and it was yummy. Love going there. Jason isn't into seafood at all, so it's a real treat when we go there.
I finally sent out Shane's CD's to him. Actually Jason dropped them off at the post office last night. That only took me just short of forever to get them sent out.
Headaches. I hate them. A few months ago I was having awful headaches and they just wouldn't go away. This is day 2 of this one for me. It's awful. Not even the combination of ibuprofen and Tylenol is touching it. Usually that wipes out just about any headache I get. Someone said I should try Excedrin. I need to go to the store to pick some up.
The missionaries are coming over again tomorrow night. I don't think Jason was really comfortable with them around before, and since he works tomorrow night I figure that would be perfect. I mixed up a batch of cookies last night, but didn't bake them. I need to bake the cookies tonight for them. Also need to straighten up the house a bit and vacuum. Nothing too bad, just general clean up. :)
Music. I need more music. I just got another itunes gift card and now have over $70 sitting in my account. I need to spend some of it, and I want some new songs. So what are some good songs? Or some of your all time favorites, new or old? I'm huge into music and love just about everything, so I'm not too picky.
Questions. A couple of the scrapbook blogs that I read, they have done a Q&A session. Basically people who read their blog post questions and then you answer them. Now I don't have a huge following on my blog, in fact I only know of a few people who read this, but figured since I have no clue what to do write about I would give it a shot. So post your questions, anything and everything, and I will answer in a future post. I think that might be fun. So post away. I want to answer questions, lol. The questions can be anything, so ask anything. Have fun with it!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
The Mask
Forewarning...I'm having a hard time wording things today, so bear with me here, lol.
Do people really know who you are? Do you let people get close to you or do you hold everyone at arms length?I recently had my annual performance appraisal at work and there were comments on my positive attitude, always has a smile on her face, never gets angry or mad even when working with difficult customers.
I have always put on a good front for people. I tend to hold people at arms length and never really let anyone get close. I will talk about things that don't really matter, but I never talk about things that matter. I keep those thoughts and feelings inside. I have always been good at hiding my feelings, not letting anyone know what I'm truly thinking and feeling. Wearing a mask so to speak. I wear a mask all day long at work, and when I come home, it comes off a little bit, but never really all the way. I'm always wearing a bit of a mask.
I also recently realized that I'm great at pushing people away. It doesn't matter who it is, I manage to push people away who try to get closer to me. I've done a lot of thinking lately on my past relationships and some events that have shaped me to who I am today, and I think the pushing people away comes from getting hurt or let down by someone you care deeply about. There have only been a handful people who I have not been able to push away, even though I tried, and didn't even realize it until looking back.
One of those people was a person I thought was a great friend and listener. This person seemed to understand me and get me. I let my guard down and told this person things that I had never told anyone. Things that I had been holding inside of me for years. This person really started to make me feel uncomfortable and finally I stopped all communication with this person. I didn't realize what a hold this person had on me, and I have felt much happier now that that "hold" isn't there. I can't explain the hold that this person had on me, but it was a tight one. Every now and then I still think about this person hoping that they are ok, but I am relieved and much happier that they are gone from my life.
Now that I'm rambling, let's try to get back on topic. Masks. No, not Halloween masks either, lol. So on the outside I put on a good front, everyone seems to think that I'm so put together, perfect, and have no problems. That is the front I put on I guess. Inside, I feel like I'm crumbling away, I feel lost.
Now I'm probably going to come across as some emo kid here, but I found a couple icons that seem to fit how I feel.
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h8/gamerbabe360/inside.gif
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h8/gamerbabe360/tough.jpg
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h8/gamerbabe360/ev.gif
Last night I was really down and all out of sorts. No real reason why either, I just was. A little bit before 9 p.m. the phone rings. I look at Jason and say "It's my guys." He gives me a weird look and I say "The missionaries." It turns out I was right. I don't know how I knew it was them, I just did. We have no caller ID or anything, I just knew. I think I freaked Jason out a little bit. Anyway, I set up a time for them to over again, and as they always ask, "Is there anything I can help you with tonight?" Of course I say, "No." What am I supposed to say, I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakdown and don't know what to do? Yea, that would really freak out these young kids. They are probably 19 or 20 would be my guess.
It really makes me uncomfortable when people ask, "Is there anything I can do for you?" "Do you need help with anything?" I don't like asking or accepting the offers of help, especially since I don't know what I need. I would rather help other people.
Yesterday on the radio, the traffic trivia question was "The average woman does this 32 times a year." The answer was cry. Personally I think that is too low. I cry more than that, typically when I'm alone and before bed. I can't tell you the times that I have cried myself to sleep, and woke up feeling much better. Last night I couldn't cry...I hate that....it seems to happen when I really need to cry too.
Now I really have no clue where I'm going with this. My mind is spinning in 1000 different directions with so many thoughts and things swirling around in there. I think I'm going to stop writing for now, since I have no clue where I was going....
Do people really know who you are? Do you let people get close to you or do you hold everyone at arms length?I recently had my annual performance appraisal at work and there were comments on my positive attitude, always has a smile on her face, never gets angry or mad even when working with difficult customers.
I have always put on a good front for people. I tend to hold people at arms length and never really let anyone get close. I will talk about things that don't really matter, but I never talk about things that matter. I keep those thoughts and feelings inside. I have always been good at hiding my feelings, not letting anyone know what I'm truly thinking and feeling. Wearing a mask so to speak. I wear a mask all day long at work, and when I come home, it comes off a little bit, but never really all the way. I'm always wearing a bit of a mask.
I also recently realized that I'm great at pushing people away. It doesn't matter who it is, I manage to push people away who try to get closer to me. I've done a lot of thinking lately on my past relationships and some events that have shaped me to who I am today, and I think the pushing people away comes from getting hurt or let down by someone you care deeply about. There have only been a handful people who I have not been able to push away, even though I tried, and didn't even realize it until looking back.
One of those people was a person I thought was a great friend and listener. This person seemed to understand me and get me. I let my guard down and told this person things that I had never told anyone. Things that I had been holding inside of me for years. This person really started to make me feel uncomfortable and finally I stopped all communication with this person. I didn't realize what a hold this person had on me, and I have felt much happier now that that "hold" isn't there. I can't explain the hold that this person had on me, but it was a tight one. Every now and then I still think about this person hoping that they are ok, but I am relieved and much happier that they are gone from my life.
Now that I'm rambling, let's try to get back on topic. Masks. No, not Halloween masks either, lol. So on the outside I put on a good front, everyone seems to think that I'm so put together, perfect, and have no problems. That is the front I put on I guess. Inside, I feel like I'm crumbling away, I feel lost.
Now I'm probably going to come across as some emo kid here, but I found a couple icons that seem to fit how I feel.
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h8/gamerbabe360/inside.gif
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h8/gamerbabe360/tough.jpg
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h8/gamerbabe360/ev.gif
Last night I was really down and all out of sorts. No real reason why either, I just was. A little bit before 9 p.m. the phone rings. I look at Jason and say "It's my guys." He gives me a weird look and I say "The missionaries." It turns out I was right. I don't know how I knew it was them, I just did. We have no caller ID or anything, I just knew. I think I freaked Jason out a little bit. Anyway, I set up a time for them to over again, and as they always ask, "Is there anything I can help you with tonight?" Of course I say, "No." What am I supposed to say, I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakdown and don't know what to do? Yea, that would really freak out these young kids. They are probably 19 or 20 would be my guess.
It really makes me uncomfortable when people ask, "Is there anything I can do for you?" "Do you need help with anything?" I don't like asking or accepting the offers of help, especially since I don't know what I need. I would rather help other people.
Yesterday on the radio, the traffic trivia question was "The average woman does this 32 times a year." The answer was cry. Personally I think that is too low. I cry more than that, typically when I'm alone and before bed. I can't tell you the times that I have cried myself to sleep, and woke up feeling much better. Last night I couldn't cry...I hate that....it seems to happen when I really need to cry too.
Now I really have no clue where I'm going with this. My mind is spinning in 1000 different directions with so many thoughts and things swirling around in there. I think I'm going to stop writing for now, since I have no clue where I was going....
Monday, June 18, 2007
Trash the Dress!
I was looking around on 2peas today and seen this site, there were HUGE discussions on it, obviously, since 2peas is like that, lol. But I seriously wished I seen this before I got married. I would have loved to trash my dress like this. http://trashthedress.com/ You can keep clicking next at the bottom to see more.
These shots are amazing! More than likely you will either love them or hate them. Personally, I love them and wish I could do this.
These shots are amazing! More than likely you will either love them or hate them. Personally, I love them and wish I could do this.
Photo Share!
Here are some pics that I have taken recently.
This is what my hair currently looks like. Many different colors, lol. And no, I didn't color it again, this is what it faded to!
This is the view that I was talking about in my previous post.
I also miss this, walking barefoot in the grass. If I had my way, I would never wear shoes! I hate shoes!
Now, this is what happens we try to take pictures of teenagers, or almost teenagers!
Mom's Tattoo
My love!
Dreams
It seems like lately I've been having a lot of dreams. Not all of them are pleasant, in fact some of them freak me out a bit. Some of them I make up feeling safe, content, and happy, but those seem to be few and far between. It really annoys me sometimes, when I can't remember my dreams, especially the pleasant ones. I wake up and know that I dreamed something, but I can't remember what about. Throughout the day every now and then bits and pieces come back to me. Most dreams, I tend to forget about after a while, but there are some dreams that I had years ago that I remember vividly. Isn't that odd? Dreams are funny things. Here's to hoping for some pleasant dreams tonight. :)
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Home
I'm up north this weekend visiting my family on the way up I was driving and Jason was in charge of the ipod and he played Kenny Chesney's song, "Back Where I Come From." I've always loved that song and was actually going to make a mini-scrapbook with some of the song lyrics. Here are the lyrics:
In the town where I was raised
The clock ticks and the cattle graze
Time passed with Amazing Grace
Back where I come from
Now you can lie on a riverbank
Paint your name on a water tank
Or miscount all the beers you drank
Back where I come from
Back where I come from
Where I'll be when it's said and done
I'm proud as anyone
Back where I come from
We learned in Sunday school
Who made the sun shine through
I know who made the moonshine, too
Back where I come from
Blue eyes on a Saturday night
Tan legs in the broad day light
TV's, they were black and white
Back where I come from
Back where I come from
Where I'll be when it's said and done
I'm proud as anyone
Back where I come from
Some say it's a backward place
Narrow minds on a narrow way
I make it a point to say
That that's where I come from
That's where I come from
Where I'll be when it's said and done
I'm proud as anyone
That's where I come from
Back where I come from
I'm an old Tennessean
And I'm proud as anyone
That's where I come from
That's where I come from
That's where I come from
The song really me realize how much I miss it up north. There's not a million people around...it's slower paced...people actually talk to you...aside from the people I miss the openness of it....
As I'm sitting here writing this (Note: I wrote this in a journal first, and am transferring it over to my blogs.) I'm sitting on a bench that Grandpa made, it's sitting on the deck of the playhouse that Ma and Carol built. The deck overlooks a field with woods behind it....the first crop of hay was recently put up and there are the big round hay bales sitting in the field. (I will post a pic as soon as I get back home.) It's a beautiful day....it's in the high 80's, sunny, a slight breeze whispering through the trees. The only sounds I are are the breeze, the rustle of leaves, birds chirping, an occasional cricket, and an occasional car going by.
That is what I miss. The ability to leave the house, walk down the hill, and be in peace....the quietness....I feel at home here in the country. That is what I crave, and something I can't get in Roch.
Growing up, I never thought that I would leave Pine County. I've lived there all my life and never even dreamed of moving away. Most of my friends and cousins talked about getting out of here and moving to the cities or Duluth, or anywhere but here....me, I never did.
I've always dreamed of owning an old house on some land...having trails in the woods to walk on...being able to sit outside, enjoying the beauty that God has created. So peaceful, serene without all of the hustle and bustle. Walking outside barefoot....taking an outside shower in the cool mornings, the steam rising....sitting on a hill watching the sunset over a field..sitting on a blanket in the sun reading a book...being able to have a bonfire on a Saturday night and inviting friends and family over to enjoy it...being able to go family birthday parties.....being able to pick up the phone and call a high school friend to come over....I dream of just packing everything up and moving...starting over...back home...in the country.....if only it were that simple.....
In the town where I was raised
The clock ticks and the cattle graze
Time passed with Amazing Grace
Back where I come from
Now you can lie on a riverbank
Paint your name on a water tank
Or miscount all the beers you drank
Back where I come from
Back where I come from
Where I'll be when it's said and done
I'm proud as anyone
Back where I come from
We learned in Sunday school
Who made the sun shine through
I know who made the moonshine, too
Back where I come from
Blue eyes on a Saturday night
Tan legs in the broad day light
TV's, they were black and white
Back where I come from
Back where I come from
Where I'll be when it's said and done
I'm proud as anyone
Back where I come from
Some say it's a backward place
Narrow minds on a narrow way
I make it a point to say
That that's where I come from
That's where I come from
Where I'll be when it's said and done
I'm proud as anyone
That's where I come from
Back where I come from
I'm an old Tennessean
And I'm proud as anyone
That's where I come from
That's where I come from
That's where I come from
The song really me realize how much I miss it up north. There's not a million people around...it's slower paced...people actually talk to you...aside from the people I miss the openness of it....
As I'm sitting here writing this (Note: I wrote this in a journal first, and am transferring it over to my blogs.) I'm sitting on a bench that Grandpa made, it's sitting on the deck of the playhouse that Ma and Carol built. The deck overlooks a field with woods behind it....the first crop of hay was recently put up and there are the big round hay bales sitting in the field. (I will post a pic as soon as I get back home.) It's a beautiful day....it's in the high 80's, sunny, a slight breeze whispering through the trees. The only sounds I are are the breeze, the rustle of leaves, birds chirping, an occasional cricket, and an occasional car going by.
That is what I miss. The ability to leave the house, walk down the hill, and be in peace....the quietness....I feel at home here in the country. That is what I crave, and something I can't get in Roch.
Growing up, I never thought that I would leave Pine County. I've lived there all my life and never even dreamed of moving away. Most of my friends and cousins talked about getting out of here and moving to the cities or Duluth, or anywhere but here....me, I never did.
I've always dreamed of owning an old house on some land...having trails in the woods to walk on...being able to sit outside, enjoying the beauty that God has created. So peaceful, serene without all of the hustle and bustle. Walking outside barefoot....taking an outside shower in the cool mornings, the steam rising....sitting on a hill watching the sunset over a field..sitting on a blanket in the sun reading a book...being able to have a bonfire on a Saturday night and inviting friends and family over to enjoy it...being able to go family birthday parties.....being able to pick up the phone and call a high school friend to come over....I dream of just packing everything up and moving...starting over...back home...in the country.....if only it were that simple.....
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Wednesday
Wednesday's are typically a good day. Means we are half way through the work week. Yay, lol. :)
Thank you everyone for the advice on my last post and for Laurie's post on the board. Jason and I actually just refinanced the car for a lower interest rate, and to pay it off 6 months faster, for a couple dollars less a month. Although they drew up the paper work for a 4 year loan, and said that we can just "keep the extra money." I was a bit snarky and said, the point of the refinancing was to pay it off sooner and get a lower interest rate. What a dork, we agreed to the 2 year loan over the phone anyway. I don't think they were too happy to have to re-do the paper work, but oh well, it's all good. Jason and I are taking steps in the right direction to have me stay at home eventually, unfortunately at this point and time, there is absolutely no way that we can toss my paycheck in savings. I'm going to shoot for tossing half of it in savings first and see how we do.
Onto other news now. I came home last night and Jason surprised me with a Forza 2 (a racing video game) and a Toby Keith CD. He used his eBay money to surprise me and he bought himself a movie, Ghostrider. I was speechless, I wasn't expecting either of them. He spoils me way too much.
I played Forza some last night, wow, I'm not a good driver, lol. I did find that I drive much better if I use the view where it looks like you are actually driving the car and have a rear view mirror. I managed to get in the top 3 on two different race tracks. It was fun. At the gaming message board that I'm a member of (http://www.thexlc.com/) they are doing a Forza 2 season. I don't think I'm going to participate though, but all of the threads there should help me out. It will be fun to race with some of those guys, they are hysterical. Speaking of XLC, I'm gamer of the month there this month! Basically I did an interview of questions, sent them a picture and they put it up on the site. I love XLC, it's been a long time since I've felt "at home" on a gaming site, since most of the people on there are little kids who think that being a girl gamer is a novelty and hit on you and try to pick you up. The main members on XLC are adults, and it's nice to be able to game with them and not get hit on. They are hilarious too, some of my favorite people to game with now, I wonder why they put up with me sometimes, since I'm not the best out there, lol.
Books, I've been reading like crazy again. When Jason and I have been heading up to the Cities, we have been stopping at Borders and I've been buying books there every time we stop. Between that and using paperbackswap, I have a ton of books in my to be read pile. :) Jason thinks it's crazy that I can be in the middle of 2 or 3 books at a time and still know what is going on in them. But that's me, I love to read, always have. Ma, remember when you used to get mad because I would never leave the house without a book in my hand even if we were just going to Sandstone, which was only 10 minutes away. Hey, I could read about 10 pages in that time, lol. :)
I applied for yet another job yesterday afternoon. It's a .9 position, which would be 1 day off every 2 weeks. I think that right now even that little bit would help. That particular job was for a Patient Service Rep. The other job I applied for was a Police Evidence Technician. The majority of jobs that I have applied for require no degree, and only 1 year of clerical experience. Now I have an Associates of Applied Science degree as an Administrative Assistant and 5 years of secretarial experience. I wonder if I'm not getting called back because I'm over qualified or what? I will keep sending resumes out and scouring through the postings.
Speaking of jobs and working, after you have worked in a a place for 4 years, the people you interact with daily should know your name, right? Especially your manager. Today I went in and dropped a couple things off for my manager and had her sign something and she said, "Thanks Amy." Ummm....I've been here over 4 years, my name is Amber. You should know that. She didn't even say a word about it. I told the other secretary here and she was shocked and offended for me. It's not even like we have an Amy in our department and none of her kids are named Amy, in fact one of her daughters is named Amber.
Work has gone so slow this week, although yesterday seemed to go by pretty fast. So if anyone has any blog challenges, let me know, I'm in a talkative/writing mood and I have a feeling my posts are getting boring, lol. :)
Thank you everyone for the advice on my last post and for Laurie's post on the board. Jason and I actually just refinanced the car for a lower interest rate, and to pay it off 6 months faster, for a couple dollars less a month. Although they drew up the paper work for a 4 year loan, and said that we can just "keep the extra money." I was a bit snarky and said, the point of the refinancing was to pay it off sooner and get a lower interest rate. What a dork, we agreed to the 2 year loan over the phone anyway. I don't think they were too happy to have to re-do the paper work, but oh well, it's all good. Jason and I are taking steps in the right direction to have me stay at home eventually, unfortunately at this point and time, there is absolutely no way that we can toss my paycheck in savings. I'm going to shoot for tossing half of it in savings first and see how we do.
Onto other news now. I came home last night and Jason surprised me with a Forza 2 (a racing video game) and a Toby Keith CD. He used his eBay money to surprise me and he bought himself a movie, Ghostrider. I was speechless, I wasn't expecting either of them. He spoils me way too much.
I played Forza some last night, wow, I'm not a good driver, lol. I did find that I drive much better if I use the view where it looks like you are actually driving the car and have a rear view mirror. I managed to get in the top 3 on two different race tracks. It was fun. At the gaming message board that I'm a member of (http://www.thexlc.com/) they are doing a Forza 2 season. I don't think I'm going to participate though, but all of the threads there should help me out. It will be fun to race with some of those guys, they are hysterical. Speaking of XLC, I'm gamer of the month there this month! Basically I did an interview of questions, sent them a picture and they put it up on the site. I love XLC, it's been a long time since I've felt "at home" on a gaming site, since most of the people on there are little kids who think that being a girl gamer is a novelty and hit on you and try to pick you up. The main members on XLC are adults, and it's nice to be able to game with them and not get hit on. They are hilarious too, some of my favorite people to game with now, I wonder why they put up with me sometimes, since I'm not the best out there, lol.
Books, I've been reading like crazy again. When Jason and I have been heading up to the Cities, we have been stopping at Borders and I've been buying books there every time we stop. Between that and using paperbackswap, I have a ton of books in my to be read pile. :) Jason thinks it's crazy that I can be in the middle of 2 or 3 books at a time and still know what is going on in them. But that's me, I love to read, always have. Ma, remember when you used to get mad because I would never leave the house without a book in my hand even if we were just going to Sandstone, which was only 10 minutes away. Hey, I could read about 10 pages in that time, lol. :)
I applied for yet another job yesterday afternoon. It's a .9 position, which would be 1 day off every 2 weeks. I think that right now even that little bit would help. That particular job was for a Patient Service Rep. The other job I applied for was a Police Evidence Technician. The majority of jobs that I have applied for require no degree, and only 1 year of clerical experience. Now I have an Associates of Applied Science degree as an Administrative Assistant and 5 years of secretarial experience. I wonder if I'm not getting called back because I'm over qualified or what? I will keep sending resumes out and scouring through the postings.
Speaking of jobs and working, after you have worked in a a place for 4 years, the people you interact with daily should know your name, right? Especially your manager. Today I went in and dropped a couple things off for my manager and had her sign something and she said, "Thanks Amy." Ummm....I've been here over 4 years, my name is Amber. You should know that. She didn't even say a word about it. I told the other secretary here and she was shocked and offended for me. It's not even like we have an Amy in our department and none of her kids are named Amy, in fact one of her daughters is named Amber.
Work has gone so slow this week, although yesterday seemed to go by pretty fast. So if anyone has any blog challenges, let me know, I'm in a talkative/writing mood and I have a feeling my posts are getting boring, lol. :)
Monday, June 11, 2007
For the most part I'm a morning person. I love the quietness of the mornings, the time alone, there is something relaxing and comforting about it the mornings. Since last week, I've been setting the alarm 15 minutes earlier each morning to get up and read a chapter or two in the Book of Mormon, before starting my day getting ready for work. Now I slacked off over the weekend, and I should have read some when I first got up, but I didn't. This morning I started it again. It felt "right" so to speak. Now to keep on reading and plugging away.
In other news, I weighed in yesterday (Sunday's is the big weigh in day) and I'm down another 1.5 pounds. YAY! :) So I'm very happy about that.
Halo3 Beta ended yesterday. I'm sad, now I have to go back to Halo2 and find another game that I enjoy playing until Halo3 comes out on September 25. I really did enjoy playing the game, but with only 3 maps I did kinda get tired of it. But I still can't wait for the entire game to be released in September.
I went through job postings again today and found a couple more that I'm thinking about applying for. I mean why not, I really want a different job, preferably something part time. I know Jason and I can't afford for me to go down to 40 hours every two weeks yet, but I'd even be happy with 1 day off a week or every two weeks.
Speaking of that money and such, I'm wondering if anyone has any tips on going down to 1 income. Eventually Jason's goal is to have me stay at home, which is something I would LOVE to be able to do.
I know that we are going to work on paying off our remaining debt. My goal is to only have the house payment and car payment plus our normal electric, water, phone, etc bills. I'm going to sit down with Jason and see where we can cut back on. Do some serious number crunching and see what options we have. See what we have to have and what we can get rid of or cut back on. So if anyone has been there, done that, I would love to know your tips/advice. :)
In other news, I weighed in yesterday (Sunday's is the big weigh in day) and I'm down another 1.5 pounds. YAY! :) So I'm very happy about that.
Halo3 Beta ended yesterday. I'm sad, now I have to go back to Halo2 and find another game that I enjoy playing until Halo3 comes out on September 25. I really did enjoy playing the game, but with only 3 maps I did kinda get tired of it. But I still can't wait for the entire game to be released in September.
I went through job postings again today and found a couple more that I'm thinking about applying for. I mean why not, I really want a different job, preferably something part time. I know Jason and I can't afford for me to go down to 40 hours every two weeks yet, but I'd even be happy with 1 day off a week or every two weeks.
Speaking of that money and such, I'm wondering if anyone has any tips on going down to 1 income. Eventually Jason's goal is to have me stay at home, which is something I would LOVE to be able to do.
I know that we are going to work on paying off our remaining debt. My goal is to only have the house payment and car payment plus our normal electric, water, phone, etc bills. I'm going to sit down with Jason and see where we can cut back on. Do some serious number crunching and see what options we have. See what we have to have and what we can get rid of or cut back on. So if anyone has been there, done that, I would love to know your tips/advice. :)
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Saturday
Today Jason and I ran around. We started out at the Children's Exchange where you bring in your kids clothes and can get cash in return. We finally pulled the boxes down and between that the Children's Exchange and Once Upon A Child, we are down to just a few things left. I'm so relieved. It was really bothering me having all of the baby stuff around when Jason and I haven't been able to make a baby, like I talked about in a previous entry. So I'm relieved that 90% of it is gone, and now to just go through the rest and see if it's worth eBaying or just to give it away. Since a ton of it was new, I don't know what route to go, I will see and then get rid of the rest of it. Another plus is that there is now more space in the spare bedroom. :)
After that we ran all over doing errands and went out to lunch at Applebees. It was nice. :)
Came home, put stuff away and then decided to take a nap, lol. Seriously it seems like lately that every Saturday afternoon I take a nap. I don't know what's up with that, but obviously I need more sleep, I guess, lol. :) After my nap today I did my nails. I've decided that I've been getting too high maintenance, and that's not me.
I was getting my brows done every 2-3 weeks, a nail fill every 3 weeks, and then was starting getting my hair done every 6 weeks. I haven't really been happy with my Nail Tech for a while now, so I decided that I'm going to be done getting my nails done. That will save us about $30 every 3 weeks. The downside is now that I took my acrylics off, my nails are all weak. It sucks. One of my co-workers suggested that I try the OPI Nail Envy. You put 2 coats on day 1, and then another coat on daily. It's supposed to strengthen them. You take it off every week. So I bought some of that at Tradesecret at the Mall and a couple of OPI nail colors. I really like how the OPI nail polish goes on, so I splurged a bit. But I figure that since I'm not getting my nails done, I can spend $7.50 on a polish. :)
I also think I'm going to not get my hair done again. The red faded in about 1 1/2 weeks this time. I do like how it faded, but I don't think it is worth the cost (about $140) every 6 weeks, if it's going to fade. So I think I'm going to go in and see if she can't color it back to close to my normal color, and go back and be boring. I've thought about coloring it myself at home, but don't know if I quite want to tackle that yet. :) I'd much rather save that money than spend it every 6 weeks.
I'm still on the hunt for a new job, I applied for another one today, and I'm going to look in the classifieds again to see if anything in there might work for me. I really would love a new job, so I'm going to keep plugging away and keep looking. Nothing will come if I don't look.
I've felt really content for the most part lately, I like that feeling. Happy and content. :) It's much better than what I was feeling for the longest time. It's amazing what a few changes can bring.
Anyway, I'm off to play Halo3 beta, since it ends tomorrow. :(
After that we ran all over doing errands and went out to lunch at Applebees. It was nice. :)
Came home, put stuff away and then decided to take a nap, lol. Seriously it seems like lately that every Saturday afternoon I take a nap. I don't know what's up with that, but obviously I need more sleep, I guess, lol. :) After my nap today I did my nails. I've decided that I've been getting too high maintenance, and that's not me.
I was getting my brows done every 2-3 weeks, a nail fill every 3 weeks, and then was starting getting my hair done every 6 weeks. I haven't really been happy with my Nail Tech for a while now, so I decided that I'm going to be done getting my nails done. That will save us about $30 every 3 weeks. The downside is now that I took my acrylics off, my nails are all weak. It sucks. One of my co-workers suggested that I try the OPI Nail Envy. You put 2 coats on day 1, and then another coat on daily. It's supposed to strengthen them. You take it off every week. So I bought some of that at Tradesecret at the Mall and a couple of OPI nail colors. I really like how the OPI nail polish goes on, so I splurged a bit. But I figure that since I'm not getting my nails done, I can spend $7.50 on a polish. :)
I also think I'm going to not get my hair done again. The red faded in about 1 1/2 weeks this time. I do like how it faded, but I don't think it is worth the cost (about $140) every 6 weeks, if it's going to fade. So I think I'm going to go in and see if she can't color it back to close to my normal color, and go back and be boring. I've thought about coloring it myself at home, but don't know if I quite want to tackle that yet. :) I'd much rather save that money than spend it every 6 weeks.
I'm still on the hunt for a new job, I applied for another one today, and I'm going to look in the classifieds again to see if anything in there might work for me. I really would love a new job, so I'm going to keep plugging away and keep looking. Nothing will come if I don't look.
I've felt really content for the most part lately, I like that feeling. Happy and content. :) It's much better than what I was feeling for the longest time. It's amazing what a few changes can bring.
Anyway, I'm off to play Halo3 beta, since it ends tomorrow. :(
Playing Around
I was playing around and updated my template. I made the banner in Photoshop Elements and then played around some with my colors. Went simple. What do you think?
Friday, June 08, 2007
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Self-motivated
Sandy commented earlier (by the Sandy, you should start a blog, I would love to read it!) that I seem so self-motivated and how do I do that.
Honestly, I don't think I'm that self-motivated, LOL. If I was that self-motivated I would have been skinny years ago and now (lol), my house would be spotless all the time, and I would already have an Etsy store set up, and have accomplished a million other things. Seriously, I don't think I am self motivated but thanks for the HUGE compliment.
I can honestly tell you that when other people push me towards something, I tend to not want to do it and push back by not doing it. Ma & Jason can tell you all about that, I'm sure.
I do know that when I really, really, really, want something and finally start working towards it, I'm persistent in getting it done/accomplished and push myself to that goal. It may be the one thing that I focus on for a long time though. I stumble along the way, in fact am doing that a lot lately with my weightloss, but I guess I just keep in mind the end result. So I guess my answer didn't help you out at all did it Sandy? :)
To answer your other question Sandy, I believe we are coming up the weekend of Father's Day, either that or the weekend after for Nicole's reception, this is the first I've heard about it!
Honestly, I don't think I'm that self-motivated, LOL. If I was that self-motivated I would have been skinny years ago and now (lol), my house would be spotless all the time, and I would already have an Etsy store set up, and have accomplished a million other things. Seriously, I don't think I am self motivated but thanks for the HUGE compliment.
I can honestly tell you that when other people push me towards something, I tend to not want to do it and push back by not doing it. Ma & Jason can tell you all about that, I'm sure.
I do know that when I really, really, really, want something and finally start working towards it, I'm persistent in getting it done/accomplished and push myself to that goal. It may be the one thing that I focus on for a long time though. I stumble along the way, in fact am doing that a lot lately with my weightloss, but I guess I just keep in mind the end result. So I guess my answer didn't help you out at all did it Sandy? :)
To answer your other question Sandy, I believe we are coming up the weekend of Father's Day, either that or the weekend after for Nicole's reception, this is the first I've heard about it!
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Hospitality & Random Updates
A little background. I posted an entry a while ago (I'm not sure if that one was cross posted on my blogs, or what one it was even posted on) about working to find God again, feeling the need for him in my life and to find and go to a church. I haven't been into a church for an actual service other than weddings and funerals since before Jason and I got married.
Anyway, so Shane, the guy that I was talking to on xbox live and halo, urged me to check out LDS. Growing up I knew Nicole was LDS, but didn't know much about it. Shane explained some, gave me some links and encouraged me to request the Book of Mormon from the website. I did that and last night I had 2 young missionaries come over and 1 member of the church come over and explain more to me. Thankfully it was a beautiful night, and we were able to sit outside on the picnic table. I made rice krispy bars the night before and had some bottled water pulled out, they seemed a bit surprised to see that when they came over, but we started talking right away.
They went over the basics last night, which was basically what Shane told me about, but they also explained some about Joseph Smith and went more in depth about the prophets. Everything that they said seemed to "fit" and make sense to me. They left me with a Bible and the Book of Mormon and a couple suggestions on what chapters to read in the Book of Mormon. The next step is to invite them over again and go through the Discussions, which is to discuss what I have read, and answer any questions that I may have, at least that is what I understand of it. Also to go to a church service, which I want to go to, anyway and see how it feels. I explained that I won't be able to go this weekend as Jason is leaving early on Sunday morning to take his dad to a Twins game for Father's Day and then the following weekend we are going up north. So it looks like I will be able to go on June 24. I don't feel that they were pushy at all, which was very nice, they want me to pray to find the truth, pray to find out if what they are saying is true.
After they were done discussing that, they dug into the Rice Krispy bars and water and said that this was the very first time that anyone has offered them treats on the very first visit. I was shocked at that. The night before, when I was making them, Jason wondered why I was making the bars for them, and I said, it's the right thing to do. Growing up, when Ma invited people over she either made something or pulled out cookies or something already made from the freezer. I guess I feel that if you invite someone into your home, you have to have something to offer them. They devoured the bars though and were so appreciative. It was very nice. :)
Now onto other things.
I'm still looking for a job. I need to find something and something soon, I need out of this one. I've revamped my resume three times and finally have it where I'm very happy with it. Now only to hear back from some of the jobs I applied for and to continue looking. I'm praying for God to show me the way on this one. I know that he will lead me through, but I was so frustrated last night when I came home from work.
Weight loss, after not weighing in for a while, I weighed in again and I was up about 5 pounds, which didn't make me happy. Jason and I went grocery shopping, bought a ton of healthy food, and am going back to track everything I eat, which is rough, but a good thing. :) I want to be healthy, and in order to do that, I need to be tracking everything. :) Sheila's blog has really inspired me lately to get back in gear. So thank you Sheila, I greatly appreciate the inspiration you have given me.
I don't know if I ever posted what I made at the Scrapbook Garage Sale. I made $169. I was VERY happy with that!!! Now I have a bag of stuff that didn't sell, that I need to figure out what to do with. Mainly a bunch of the MM foam stamps and other foam stamps. I've thought about posting them on eBay, but don't want to go through all the listening fees for that. We will see what I do with them.
Now just to get back into scrapbooking again. I cleaned my area again and am in the mood to scrap. I think I'm going to see what I can do this weekend. :) I still don't have an etsy store set up, but I want/need to do that. I'm thinking that might be one way to eventually be able to go down to part time.
Jason surprised me last night with a dozen pink roses!!! They are beautiful!! I need to remember to take a pic of them, I was going to this morning but forgot.
A while back, Jason and I bought this off of LTD. It finally came yesterday and Jason put it on the bed for me last night. We put it under the fitted sheet and I slept GREAT last night. It seriously reminded me of the bed that Jason and I slept in when we stayed at the Sofitel for my birthday. LOVED that room and bed, it was so luxurious.
I think I'm going to attempt to make curtains this weekend for the kitchen. Simple tab top cafe curtains. A valance and then the curtains on the bottom, I will have to make 2 of them. Jason and I are going to Hobby Lobby this evening to look at fabric. According to the pattern, I will need 5 yards of fabric for them. I hope they turn out ok. Ma, watch out, you might be getting called, LOL.
Also on my to-do list for this weekend is to clean out my closet. I need to weed out the clothes I don't wear anymore.
I think that I have rambled on long enough, I guess I'm just in the mood to ramble today. :)
Anyway, so Shane, the guy that I was talking to on xbox live and halo, urged me to check out LDS. Growing up I knew Nicole was LDS, but didn't know much about it. Shane explained some, gave me some links and encouraged me to request the Book of Mormon from the website. I did that and last night I had 2 young missionaries come over and 1 member of the church come over and explain more to me. Thankfully it was a beautiful night, and we were able to sit outside on the picnic table. I made rice krispy bars the night before and had some bottled water pulled out, they seemed a bit surprised to see that when they came over, but we started talking right away.
They went over the basics last night, which was basically what Shane told me about, but they also explained some about Joseph Smith and went more in depth about the prophets. Everything that they said seemed to "fit" and make sense to me. They left me with a Bible and the Book of Mormon and a couple suggestions on what chapters to read in the Book of Mormon. The next step is to invite them over again and go through the Discussions, which is to discuss what I have read, and answer any questions that I may have, at least that is what I understand of it. Also to go to a church service, which I want to go to, anyway and see how it feels. I explained that I won't be able to go this weekend as Jason is leaving early on Sunday morning to take his dad to a Twins game for Father's Day and then the following weekend we are going up north. So it looks like I will be able to go on June 24. I don't feel that they were pushy at all, which was very nice, they want me to pray to find the truth, pray to find out if what they are saying is true.
After they were done discussing that, they dug into the Rice Krispy bars and water and said that this was the very first time that anyone has offered them treats on the very first visit. I was shocked at that. The night before, when I was making them, Jason wondered why I was making the bars for them, and I said, it's the right thing to do. Growing up, when Ma invited people over she either made something or pulled out cookies or something already made from the freezer. I guess I feel that if you invite someone into your home, you have to have something to offer them. They devoured the bars though and were so appreciative. It was very nice. :)
Now onto other things.
I'm still looking for a job. I need to find something and something soon, I need out of this one. I've revamped my resume three times and finally have it where I'm very happy with it. Now only to hear back from some of the jobs I applied for and to continue looking. I'm praying for God to show me the way on this one. I know that he will lead me through, but I was so frustrated last night when I came home from work.
Weight loss, after not weighing in for a while, I weighed in again and I was up about 5 pounds, which didn't make me happy. Jason and I went grocery shopping, bought a ton of healthy food, and am going back to track everything I eat, which is rough, but a good thing. :) I want to be healthy, and in order to do that, I need to be tracking everything. :) Sheila's blog has really inspired me lately to get back in gear. So thank you Sheila, I greatly appreciate the inspiration you have given me.
I don't know if I ever posted what I made at the Scrapbook Garage Sale. I made $169. I was VERY happy with that!!! Now I have a bag of stuff that didn't sell, that I need to figure out what to do with. Mainly a bunch of the MM foam stamps and other foam stamps. I've thought about posting them on eBay, but don't want to go through all the listening fees for that. We will see what I do with them.
Now just to get back into scrapbooking again. I cleaned my area again and am in the mood to scrap. I think I'm going to see what I can do this weekend. :) I still don't have an etsy store set up, but I want/need to do that. I'm thinking that might be one way to eventually be able to go down to part time.
Jason surprised me last night with a dozen pink roses!!! They are beautiful!! I need to remember to take a pic of them, I was going to this morning but forgot.
A while back, Jason and I bought this off of LTD. It finally came yesterday and Jason put it on the bed for me last night. We put it under the fitted sheet and I slept GREAT last night. It seriously reminded me of the bed that Jason and I slept in when we stayed at the Sofitel for my birthday. LOVED that room and bed, it was so luxurious.
I think I'm going to attempt to make curtains this weekend for the kitchen. Simple tab top cafe curtains. A valance and then the curtains on the bottom, I will have to make 2 of them. Jason and I are going to Hobby Lobby this evening to look at fabric. According to the pattern, I will need 5 yards of fabric for them. I hope they turn out ok. Ma, watch out, you might be getting called, LOL.
Also on my to-do list for this weekend is to clean out my closet. I need to weed out the clothes I don't wear anymore.
I think that I have rambled on long enough, I guess I'm just in the mood to ramble today. :)
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Reconnect
Jason and I decided to go up the Cities on May 26. We booked a "Spa room" at the Courtyard Marriott near the Mall of America. Basically it was a hotel room with a king bed and whirlpool. Very nice. :)
I decided that since this was going to be a romantic weekend away, that I wanted to do a picnic. On Friday night, we ran to the store quick before Jason left for work and picked up some stuff. Friday night I cut, chopped, baked and dipped. We ended up having french bread with spinach dip, cheese cubes, chocolate dipped strawberries, crackers, lunch meat, cupcakes, and sparkling grape juice. I packed a tablecloth and also the glasses that Ma made us for our wedding.
Here are the chocolate dipped strawberries and the cupcakes:
I decided that since this was going to be a romantic weekend away, that I wanted to do a picnic. On Friday night, we ran to the store quick before Jason left for work and picked up some stuff. Friday night I cut, chopped, baked and dipped. We ended up having french bread with spinach dip, cheese cubes, chocolate dipped strawberries, crackers, lunch meat, cupcakes, and sparkling grape juice. I packed a tablecloth and also the glasses that Ma made us for our wedding.
Here are the chocolate dipped strawberries and the cupcakes:
And here is everything in the room once everything got all set up, we decided to have a picnic on the hotel floor, LOL. :)
Jason even surprised me and put the fabric rose petals in the hot tub! Of course we couldn't run that in there, so we sprinkled them all around the edge to dry. It was so sweet.
I really felt that Jason and I reconnected this weekend. We openly talked about a lot of different things and I feel that we are stronger than ever now. We really needed that weekend. Even though it's been about a week and a half, I'm still smiling and laughing about some of the things that we did. I still feel like we are so much stronger now. It's never easy to talk to your significant other, but it is well worth it. You can't keep things to yourself.....that I have learned.....it's much better to lay it all out so to speak.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Refocusing
So now I really should be packing since Jason and I are going away tomorrow night, but ya know what, I'm in the mood to write, so that's what I'm going to do, lol.
I've had my eyes opened up again. I have realized that I have been very selfish again. I had this realization last fall too, and thought I had gotten better, but I haven't really. I'm not going to go into details, but let's just say that I have had more than a few mis-steps. A few big ones too, but ones that no one really knows about but Jason and I. I'm working to improve those, and will continue to do so.
I've recently come to the conclusion that I am a very private, yet open person. Yes I know that makes no sense, but hear me out here. I don't like talking about me to people I know. Such as co-workers, families, friends. If they ask questions I answer, but I have a hard time spilling my guts to them so to speak. I'm not really sure why. Now online, I have a couple close good friends that I can talk to about anything. With them, I'm an open book. Probably because they don't "know" me and I guess I feel that they won't judge me. Maybe that's it. So I'm a very private yet open person.
Anyway, I went off on a tangent there, like I said, I'm in the mood to write, so who knows where this will end up going, lol. :)
Back to the selfishness. I was doing what I was doing under the guise of what would make me happy, finding myself so to speak. Maybe I shouldn't say guise that's not the right word.....I was doing what I was doing, thinking I was finding happiness and working on me. It turns out that I wasn't. Happiness has been with me all along. I have everything I need right here to be happy. I have a very supportive and loving husband, a roof over my head, and a steady job.
I think that there is one thing missing there though....God. Now don't get me wrong, I have always believed in God. But never really felt like I had a "home" so to speak. Back when I was in confirmation, I never really paid attention, I regret that now. I want to learn more, I want to find a church that I belong to, a home to to speak. I want that feeling of peace that I get periodically to stay with me longer than a couple minutes. I want to pray to Him and to listen to Him. I have finally realized that He is the missing link in my life. So I am going to explore different religions and find a church here in town. One of the guys that I play with often on xbox live has been talking to me quite a bit lately about God and religion. He's a very religious family man, great fun to play with on Halo too. But we have been having some interesting conversations about God and religion, and I can feel the love of God through him. He is passionate about his religion and I truly feel that God has put him in my life at this point to help me figure this out. To smack me upside the head and tell me, hey, this is what your missing. So Thank you God for smacking me upside the head. I'm actually paying attention this time too. :) Who knew the effect that playing video games would have on me. :)
So now I'm going to explore religion and get to know God. Accept him into my life. I'm both excited and scared to go on this journey, but I'm ready to do this. I need to do this. I can do this.
I've had my eyes opened up again. I have realized that I have been very selfish again. I had this realization last fall too, and thought I had gotten better, but I haven't really. I'm not going to go into details, but let's just say that I have had more than a few mis-steps. A few big ones too, but ones that no one really knows about but Jason and I. I'm working to improve those, and will continue to do so.
I've recently come to the conclusion that I am a very private, yet open person. Yes I know that makes no sense, but hear me out here. I don't like talking about me to people I know. Such as co-workers, families, friends. If they ask questions I answer, but I have a hard time spilling my guts to them so to speak. I'm not really sure why. Now online, I have a couple close good friends that I can talk to about anything. With them, I'm an open book. Probably because they don't "know" me and I guess I feel that they won't judge me. Maybe that's it. So I'm a very private yet open person.
Anyway, I went off on a tangent there, like I said, I'm in the mood to write, so who knows where this will end up going, lol. :)
Back to the selfishness. I was doing what I was doing under the guise of what would make me happy, finding myself so to speak. Maybe I shouldn't say guise that's not the right word.....I was doing what I was doing, thinking I was finding happiness and working on me. It turns out that I wasn't. Happiness has been with me all along. I have everything I need right here to be happy. I have a very supportive and loving husband, a roof over my head, and a steady job.
I think that there is one thing missing there though....God. Now don't get me wrong, I have always believed in God. But never really felt like I had a "home" so to speak. Back when I was in confirmation, I never really paid attention, I regret that now. I want to learn more, I want to find a church that I belong to, a home to to speak. I want that feeling of peace that I get periodically to stay with me longer than a couple minutes. I want to pray to Him and to listen to Him. I have finally realized that He is the missing link in my life. So I am going to explore different religions and find a church here in town. One of the guys that I play with often on xbox live has been talking to me quite a bit lately about God and religion. He's a very religious family man, great fun to play with on Halo too. But we have been having some interesting conversations about God and religion, and I can feel the love of God through him. He is passionate about his religion and I truly feel that God has put him in my life at this point to help me figure this out. To smack me upside the head and tell me, hey, this is what your missing. So Thank you God for smacking me upside the head. I'm actually paying attention this time too. :) Who knew the effect that playing video games would have on me. :)
So now I'm going to explore religion and get to know God. Accept him into my life. I'm both excited and scared to go on this journey, but I'm ready to do this. I need to do this. I can do this.
Kenny Chesney
Jason and I went to the Kenny Chesney concert in the cities on May 13. It was a freaking awesome concert!!! I had very high expectations for it and he surpassed them!! He made the audience feel like part of the show and that he was happy to be here, it was amazing. I want to go and see him again! It was a wonderful night, I yelled, screamed, sang,and danced the night away. While he was on stage, I think I only sat down for one or two songs. Looking back, I don't think that there was one song that I wanted to hear that he didn't play. He hit all of the ones that I loved. Next time, maybe floor seats. ;)
And of course, since I'm a spending whore every now and then, I bought some stuff, lol. :)
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Relationships...
Isn't it funny how one little conversation can change everything. A lie that has been going on for five years. In a relationship that can make or break you, I guess. Something that should have been said that very first time that it happened, or in this case didn't, but not a word was said. A very important part of a romantic relationship. Something that in my opinion can make or break you. At first it didn't seem like a huge deal, but after 5 years, it is something that slowly eats away at you and makes you almost feel resentful of people that can do this, and makes you feel broken, so to speak. A conversation that is one of the hardest things that you have ever had to say...and then you wonder if it was the right thing to do. Maybe that lie should have been kept longer, but then the person keeping it would be more and more unhappy. But this lie will more than likely make the other person unhappy, but shouldn't the truth be put out there?
Doesn't everyone deserve happiness? I think they do. But what do you do when you don't know what will make you happy? All of these thoughts and what ifs swirling around in your head all the time. Would this make me happy or would this make me happy? Hard to know what can and will make you happy until you are there in the moment and reflect on it.
Another important part of a relationship is communication. Sitting down and sharing your thoughts and feelings. Your thoughts, dreams, what you would like in the future, what you are thinking now. Even if you have a hard time sharing your thoughts and feelings, it is necessary in a relationship. You can't keep them from your significant other, if you want to make your relationship work. If you don't share your feelings, thoughts, hopes, dreams, even the little things like how your day was, the other person feels emotionally detached, wondering if something is wrong, wondering what to do. It's one thing to talk about video games and movies, but another to share your more intimate thoughts. That is what makes a relationship. That is what makes or breaks you the relationship. It does not help a relationship to be silent and either ignore the person or to pretend nothing ever happened. At least that is my opinion.
Doesn't everyone deserve happiness? I think they do. But what do you do when you don't know what will make you happy? All of these thoughts and what ifs swirling around in your head all the time. Would this make me happy or would this make me happy? Hard to know what can and will make you happy until you are there in the moment and reflect on it.
Another important part of a relationship is communication. Sitting down and sharing your thoughts and feelings. Your thoughts, dreams, what you would like in the future, what you are thinking now. Even if you have a hard time sharing your thoughts and feelings, it is necessary in a relationship. You can't keep them from your significant other, if you want to make your relationship work. If you don't share your feelings, thoughts, hopes, dreams, even the little things like how your day was, the other person feels emotionally detached, wondering if something is wrong, wondering what to do. It's one thing to talk about video games and movies, but another to share your more intimate thoughts. That is what makes a relationship. That is what makes or breaks you the relationship. It does not help a relationship to be silent and either ignore the person or to pretend nothing ever happened. At least that is my opinion.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Job
On a whim this weekend, I looked through the job postings in the newspaper. I typically don't do that, I usually just look online. Some of you may remember a previous post about me regretting not applying for a library job. There was an ad in the paper for a Library Assistant 1 job. (The other one was a Library Assistant 2.) I submitted my application and resume this morning. I'm crossing my fingers that I get an interview. The only thing that I am worried about is that I'm overqualified. The only requirements are a high school diploma, and 6 months clerical experience. I have an AAS degree, and 5 years clerical experience. If you could send prayers/good vibes that if the position is right for me, I at least get an interview. I'm so nervous. But I'm so ready for a change. It's past time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)