He denied it

I've been putting off writing this entry for a few days. Part of me doesn't want to believe it.

Last Friday night, Ma, Jules and I went up to C. County and Jules was questioned a bit more. They needed a few other questions answered, and I was shocked when we found out that P. County didn't answer them. Now I'm not a police officer or anything, but I would know enough to ask the questions.

After the Officer was done with Jules, they went and interrogated the Bastard. They said that they questioned him hard, but he denied everything. Deep down I knew that would happen, but I was hoping and praying that he would admit to it.

Now it is up to the County Attorney's office to decide whether or not to pursue this and take it to court. I'm torn on that. I want the Bastard to pay for what he did to Jules. He deserves to be behind bars and I'm afraid that he will do this again. No, I know he will do this again. He needs help so he doesn't do this again. NO ONE deserves to be through this. On the other hand if it does go to court more than likely Jules would have to testify against him. I don't want her to go through that.

There is really nothing more we can do right now except to wait and see what happens next.

I wish there was a way for the Bastard to know what all this has done to us. How much it hurts to have your 13 year old sister go through this. She has never been one to be afraid of the dark, she has never, ever slept with a light on. Last week, she asked me where a good spot for a night light be in her room. We got found one, and got one put up, but it wasn't bright enough, we ended up putting a small light in her room. She said that the night before she woke up and thought the Bastard was in her room. I can't tell you how much that tore me apart. The next day I asked her now she slept and she said not good, I'm having bad dreams. It kills me to know that she is going through this. Ma is too...Ma blames herself for this, and she shouldn't. I wish he knew how much this is effecting all of us. That his little "fun" that he thought he was having is going to stay with all of us for the rest of our lives.