I hope that everyone had a great Fourth of July!! Jason and I went out to his parents for a while. It was fun for the most part. :) Each year they have a cookout/party and invite the entire family over. This year there wasn't many people at all there. Mainly us kids and the grandkids, and then some of Jason's Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins.
As some of you may know, Jason and I are still having a hard time trying to have a baby. (And yes, this relates to the Fourth, in some way, your just getting the Nelson version of the story, LOL. :P) Jason and I have been trying for quite a while to have a baby, but I thought that things might turn around since I've been losing weight. (35 pounds now, WHOO HOO!) I thought that might be enough to give my body the jumpstart that it needs. I don't even want to think about how long we have been trying.
Anyway, so Kara (Joe's girlfriend/fiance (Joe is Jason's youngest brother)) once again comes up and starts being nosy. (Sidenote here: Joe & Kara have 4 kids together and Kara has another one, but Joe is not the father to that one, and he lives with Kara's parents. And they are not yet married, we just found out that they were engaged again. It's been an on again and off again thing since I've been in the picture.) Asking so are you and Jason trying? When do you think you will have kids? And a zillion other questions. I laugh and say, "Eventurally." But she kept pushing and asking more questions.
I *hate* being put on the spot like that. It's none of her freaking business what we are doing. If Jason and I were able to have kids, we would have already had one by now!! It made me so mad and sad. I just wanted to cry. And Jason and I shared that we were having trouble getting pregnant before, so it's not like she didn't know. It hurts me so much. There is nothing more than I want to do than give Jason the baby that he wants. I almost feel like a faliure that I'm not able to do that.
Since the 4th I've been sad again. I hate feeling that way. I can't seem to shake it, this time either. Usually I can just push it to the side and move on, but I'm having a hard time, this time. I've been going to bed early, and can't seem to get movitated to do anything. I feel like I'm on the verge of falling off my diet and everything. I told Jason that and he said, no your aren't. You can do this. That helped. Knowing that he is there supporting me.
Before I make this post even more depressing, I'm going to go.
3 comments:
some people can be so rude and nosey :( I'm still praying for God to give you that little miracle you've been waiting for. But in God's timing, not our own. Please don't give up on your weightloss, you are doing so great!!
Thank you so much Amy. Your words and thoughtfulness made my cry. I know it's all in God's timing, but it's so hard to wait. This must be a lesson in patience for me.
okay I started a reply got up and walked away from the computer for a second and it's gone ?!?!?
Kara....oh man Kara....look her in the eye and tell her you tried 3 times last night....if that don't shut her up tell her to take a flyin 'f'n leap! sorry but I don't like that girl! she has so much growing up to do ...
God will bless you allin good time!
xoxo
ma
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