Break Down

Tonight I had a break down. I don't know if I would call it a breakdown, but that is what I'm calling it. Tonight after work, I went and got my brows waxed and I paid, walked out the door with Jason, and felt tears start to well up. Jason asked where I wanted to eat, and I shrugged and said I don't care. Then I said, let's just go home, because otherwise I'm going to start crying. Then I lost it. The tears started to flow.

What bothers me is that I started to cry for no reason. I still can't figure out why I was crying. I have never done that before. In the past, little things have set me off, but never like this. This was full out crying, sobbing, runny nose and everything crying. I have always been able to hold back my emotions pretty good, not letting anyone know what I truly feel. Wearing a mask so to speak. When someone asks how I am, it's always good, or okay, even if I'm not feeling that way. I have a hard time letting others in, and letting them know how I truly feel. Anyway, back to what happened.

We got home, and I sat down at my computer, attempted to read at a site, and the tears started. Jason came over and gave me a hug. I finished looking through the tears, typed "taking a break" post on the board, and then logged off, went and sat on the couch to try to compose myself. Jason sat down next to me and put his arm around me. I told him not to, because I will cry harder/longer. He moved his arm away, and I started to cry even more. He took me in his arms, and I sobbed. I couldn't help it. Finally I got my tears to pretty much stop and composed myself.

It really bothers me that I don't know *why* I was crying in the first place and that I couldn't make the tears stop even though I wanted to. I don't like that. At all.

Rambles

I figured I should probably update my blog since it's been a while. :) I'm thinking I'm going to do this in list format. I love my lists!!

• I am now down 49.5 pounds. SO close to 50 pounds lost and boy am I feeling good about it!
• Jason and I got new cell phones, work had a great deal on a plan so we signed up. Who knew that I would ever have a camera phone, LOL. I must admit it is fun to play around with it. Now I just need to make it pretty pink! :D
• I am enjoying going clothes shopping these days. It's lots of fun to buy stuff in smaller sizes.
• Jason is being even more romantic now, I love it! The other day he sent me a list of 10 things that he loves about me. Made me cry. He is so sweet!
• My newest eye candy fascination is Joe Mauer, who plays baseball for the Twins. What a cutie! Jason just laughs at me, LOL.
• I went out and bought the Crop-A-Dial yesterday at M's. Haven't used it yet though, LOL.
• I still have not scrapbooked. I *really* need to sit down and make a page. Even though I'm not scrapbooking it doesn't stop me from lurking on 2peas, LOL.
• Speaking of 2peas, there is this *AMAZING* LO that I *LOVE* Very inspiring. http://www.twopeasinabucket.com/pg.asp?cmd=display&layout_id=956888 I'm seriously thinking about doing a page like that....I don't know though, maybe it will be odd? What do you think of that LO?
• Then, here is another LO, a gal actually stamped her boobs, LOL. WOW, I *never* would have thought to do that. Here is that LO: http://www.twopeasinabucket.com/pg.asp?cmd=display&layout_id=963445

Weighloss Pics for Laurie

Now, how horrible is this! I haven't taken pics of my weightloss. This is the best I can do for you Laurie. :) And these are all crappy pics, but hey, at least you get the drift, LOL. I went back and looked and I started tracking my food on April 5, 2006. A couple days later is what I really started Spark People!

This pic is me, on May 3, 2006.

































And now this is me, as of about 10 minutes ago, on August 8, 2006.

Weekend

It's Sunday night already, boy where does the weekend go!! Jason and I went up north to visit Ma, Dad, and the girlies. It seems like whenever we go up north, the time goes by way to fast! The girlies and I played the board game Life, and actually even finished the game! It was so much fun. And of course, we laughed until we cried, about stupid stuff that I have done lately.

I'm sitting here, half watching VH1's, "I Love the 90's" and OMG, I'm sitting just laughing, just some moments, like OMG, I actually liked that song, ROFL. Oh my, feel like I'm reliving my high school days, what great times.

On a sad note, I got a note today from the LSS that I'm on the design team for and they are CLOSING! I couldn't believe it. The store was doing great and they were going to move into a larger store and everything, but the owner decided that she needs to spend more time with her family. Which is completely understandable, but that means that I simply won't have a LSS here in Roch. I will miss being on the design team, and all of the great people from the store. It is so sad, it was the perfect little store. :(

Great Night

I really enjoyed myself last night. Jason picked me up after my dr's appointment, and we went out to eat at the Macaroni Grill. The Macaroni Grill opened up last year sometime, and we never went there before, so we decided to try it out. It was ok, but we like Olive Garden much better. But it was a great change of pace, and we tried something new. :)

After that we went home, and Jason there was a beautiful bouquet of daisies on the table in our wedding colors. Then we went up stairs, and I got a lovely massage, and then a relaxing bath. And then we went out for ice cream. It was a great evening, just enjoying each other. Truly enjoyed myself. Thanks love, for the perfect evening. :)

3 Years ago today

It was our wedding day!

Wow, where has time gone! It seems like it was yesterday that I was sitting down and planning the wedding. Enjoying looking through all of the wedding magazines and having fun planning it. I want to plan another wedding, LOL. I truly enjoyed it. :)

Of course the day didnt' go off without a hitch, the best man didn't show up for the rehearsal until it was over, and the place where we had our rehearasal dinner had us down for the next night. And then on our wedding day it rained during the ceremony and then cleared up after that. But I wouldn't change our wedding at the cabin, down by the lake for anything. And at the end of the day all that mattered was that we were married. :)

And I'm looking forward to tonight so much. Jason is planning a surprise for me. I have no clue what it is, but I can't wait for it! It's going to be a great night, I just know it. :)

Jason, I love you so much, and am looking forward to many more happy years with you.