Sunday, December 23, 2007

Christmas

Christmas is almost here. This Christmas season I've really been struggling. I've been doing my best to hide it and pretend everything is ok, but I don't know how much longer I can do that. I haven't been able to pull myself out of this funk I'm in. If I do it's for a couple of hours at most.

Usually I'm one who loves Christmas. Buying the gifts for everyone, wrapping them, making Christmas cards, decorating the house, baking cookies, decorating the tree, Christmas music. I usually love everything about Christmas. This year I wasn't even going to put up a Christmas tree. Jason insisted. We went and got one and finished decorating tonight. In all fairness, Jason decorated 99% of it, while I sat and handed him ornaments. Usually we put up every ornament, this year I went through and we didn't put up near half of them.

I don't know why I'm not enjoying it. I don't know why I'm like this and down all the time. I'm just not happy. I miss being happy. I want to be happy again. I don't know what will make me happy.

1 comment:

Jason said...

I think not having a tree until less than a week before Christmas has a little to do with it. I have no clue as to where your Christmas spirit went. I know it was here last year. Hopefully it will be back next year!