Day 121 {Appt. Time}

Day 121

Off to an appointment with the essentials. Bottle of water, keys, and a book to pass the waiting time.

Day 120 {Sweet Dreams!}

Day 120

All snuggled into bed for the night.

Day 119 {Rockstar!}

Day 119

At least I'm attempting to be a rockstar playing Guitar Hero III on the Xbox360.

Day 118 {Sleepy Time!}

Day 118

Crawling into bed to read and relax before going to sleep.

Day 117 {Curly Q}

Day 117

Fixing my hair before my husband and I go out on a date. I noticed the curly Q there and had to take a picture.

Day 116 {Being a kid}

Day 116

Sometimes you just have to act like a kid again and go out and jump in the puddles after a rain.

Day 115 {Kissable}

Day 115

Getting loved on by my husband. He loves kissing my shoulders and neck.

Day 114 {Getting Ready}

Day 114

Working on making myself presentable for the day. Please tell me I'm not the only one who flips their hair over like this to work the mousse in good.

Day 113 {Happy}

Day 113

Smiling and happy after a friend came over and visited. Was perfect, and just what I needed!

Day 112 {Yawn}

Day 112

Tired at work. It's nearing 10 p.m. and I need my sleep.

A bit worried, random ramblings

I have always been a worrier, (no not a warrior, a worrier :P) and I think it comes to me naturally. Growing up Ma was always a bit strict, and looking back that was a good thing. Though I remember telling her more than a few times that she worries too much. I worry about big and small things, and many, many things beyond my own control.

One of things that has been on my mind quite a bit lately is the state of our country. Now for those of you that know me, I'm not a political person at all, and while I try to watch the news and read the paper regularly, I don't get involved in a lot of different news stories and the hype. I do have my own opinions about issues, but often keep them to myself as I don't want to offend anyone.

Lately, I will readily admit to pulling more and more away from the news and newspaper. There is so much going on, and frankly it worries me, and stresses me out a bit.

With the rising prices and gas, how will the normal American family live? Obviously they will have to drastically cut everything out that they can, or pile on the credit card debt. I am guessing that most people will pile on the credit card debt. Most people that I know in real life have credit cards and are shocked when I say that we don't have them and don't use them. It's a choice that Jason and I made, we don't want to live off of credit, we want to be debt free and live within our means and save what little bit we can.

Many people complain about how they can't spend any less at the grocery store. The people that I have heard complaining about that don't use coupons, buy brand names, and a ton of processed food. I use coupons, and get many odd looks at the store, and from cashiers with the amount of coupons that I use. I only buy what we will need/use, and also what I can give away to others to use. I recently brought a box full of food up north to my parents to use. This summer, I am also planning a garden and hope that it works out for me. I don't have a green thumb at all. But I'm willing to try and see where it goes. It's an adventure of sorts. I'm also wondering how much of an impact all of the processed food we eat effects us. I'm working on getting back to basics and lessening the processed food in the house.

Obviously we have no control over the rising gas prices. We cut out gas coupons when we get them and use them, and we are starting to cut down our short trips some. Other than that, we have a small car already that gets decent gas mileage, but that is all we can do to help in that area.

With all of the recent news stories about BPA I worry about what we as consumers aren't aware of in our food and food storage containers. I'm not one to get all hyped up about stuff, but if plastic containers have BPA in them, then I need to go through and check everything over. Maybe I'm being too overprotective as the FDA does say that they are "safe" but more testing needs to be done. If there is a risk, why wait especially if children and such are at risk?

I've also been debating about being more "Green." No, I'm not going to turn green, but really making more conscientious decisions about things. Lessening our impact on the plant. I'm not really green at all right now. We recycle, we reuse grocery bags, and such, but there is so much MORE we can do. A few simple ideas are using cloth grocery bags, using more environment friendly cleaning solutions, using less gas, really watch what we buy and use and simply waste less.

I'm also wondering how the housing crisis is going to end. Things don't seem to be going too good in that area, and many houses I've noticed are sitting on the market for a long time. Jason and I would love to move, but we would end up upside down in our house. So here we stay.

I think it's interesting that Pres. Bush says that we aren't in a recession or depression. He says we are in a "slow-down." I honestly truly believe that we are in a recession and that things are going to get worse, much worse before getting better. I'm normally an optimistic person, in fact I have been told by colleagues that I'm too optimistic, but I truly believe that things are going to get worse before getting better.

I remember shortly before or after 9/11, I can't remember what one, that Ma said she had a dream about Great Grandma Holmstrom telling her that she needed to prepare that things were going to be much worse than the Great Depression. I wonder if this is and what is yet to come is what Grandma Holmstrom was talking about. Granted it's 7 years later, but still, I wonder. Ma, have you had any other dreams?

You know I realize that I'm not the typical 25-year old person. I worry about all of these things beyond my control. I love aprons. I'm going to attempt gardening. I'm going to attempt making our own laundry soap. I'm going to put up a clothes line in our yard in the middle of town.

But I'm ok with that being different like that.

Day 111 {No Photo Available}

Day 111

Not up for a photo tonight. I'm starting to run out of ideas already.

Day 110 {Hair}

Day 110

Really messy hair. Spent the day relaxing around the house today. Too much time sleeping.

Day 109 {Unhappy Toes}

Day 109

I always say that when my toes aren't painted they are unhappy. It's time to make them happy again.

Getting my ass kicked

by a small 20mg pill. So last Wednesday I went to the Doctor for my depression and he prescribed me Celexa, 20 mg once a day. He suggested that I start taking it in the morning, and if it makes me tired to take it at night. For the first 4 days I started taking it in the morning and about 2 hours later, I'm so tired, much worse than before I started taking it. I can't shake the feeling either. When I'm not working, or not working until late, I take a nap, since I can barely keep my eyes open.

The next two days, I decided to take it at night, and took it anywhere from 1-2 hours before I go to bed. I slept for about 2 hours, then I wake up, go to the bathroom, and can't get back to sleep anywhere from 1-3 hours. I have the whole racing thoughts, can't relax, the whole bit. Then I finally get sleep for a couple more hours, and am up for the day. That doesn't work either.

I need my sleep, if I don't get my sleep I get crabby. That's not a good thing. But I won't want to feel tired, and sleep the day away. I feel like I can't win. I'm hoping that this is a side effect and will go away.

I have another Dr. appt. on the 30th and will bring it up then if it's still happening, that is unless I can't stand it and give him a call sooner.

The good news is that I feel overall more mellow and not on a roller coaster. I don't know if it's possible to feel an effect already, but I do feel more mellow. Jason said he noticed a positive difference as well.

Day 108 {Simply Me}

Day 108

Just a quick picture today. Nothing to say tonight.

Day 107 {Long}

Day 107

I tossed my hair back today and couldn't believe how long it was! Wow...I think it's either time to get my hair cut.

Day 106 {Windy}

Day 106

It's nice and warm out today but WINDY as you can tell from my hair!

Day 105 {Silly}

Day 105

Feeling a bit silly today before heading to work.

Day 104 {Lazy Sunday}

Day 104

Lazy Sunday laying on the couch reading my book.

Day 103 {Real Me}

Day 103

This is me. Absolutley no make-up, messy hair with no product, zits, no photo retouching. This is the real me imperfections and all. Take it or leave it.

Day 102 {Cookin'}

Day 102
Spent some time in the kitchen again today.

Day 101 {Home}

Day 101
Home after working a 9 hour day, ending at 10 p.m. tonight. Relaxing, listening to the rain fall, debating about going to bed.

Appointment

Today I had my appointment with my doctor about my depression. Well, come to find out that I have depression, but he feels it is very treatable. He prescribed me Celexa and also thought that I may benefit from seeing a therapist. Based on my last experience with one, I'm not so sure on that. But I made an initial appointment and will go from there. I also have a follow up appointment with my normal doctor in 3 weeks to see how the Celexa is working. I'm a bit unsure of this, but I do hope it helps.

Day 100 {Yikes!}

Day 100

How would you like it if someone like this answered the door?

Jason had to send his 360 in (red rings of death again) and we were expecting it today. Not a problem at all. Someone has to sign for it, I'm off, no big deal. Right?

Well usually UPS comes in the afternoon, say around 2 p.m.

I slept in a bit, spend some time working on a recipe website, got buns going and then was going to shower.

Then there is a knock on the door.

Uh oh. I'm not showered, haven't even brushed my hair, it's still tossed up from when last night before bed, no make-up, no bra, wearing only a tank top and yoga pants.

Of course it's a young, cute UPS driver today. As if that wasn't bad enough, he wants to make chit chat. Usually they NEVER do that. Wanted to know what was in the box since he delivers a bunch of them every day, and then wanted to talk about the 360 repairs, etc.

Why can't the cute ones want to chit chat when I'm dressed, and ready to face to world???

Day 99 {Colors}

Day 99

Just a quick fun colored pic. More than likely too "done" for most people, but I like it.

Day 98 {Relaxing}

Day 98

Nothing like relaxing in a nice hot bubble with a sappy romance novel. Yes, I realize there are no bubbles in the tub...that was because I sat in there long enough that they were all gone!

Day 97 {Melancholy}

Day 97

Melancholy and introspective today.

Day 96 {Gaming Again}

Day 96

Yup another boring picture. I realized this late at night that I forgot to take a picture for today. This is what you get, a quick picture of me playing Halo3 and Catan yet again. :)

Day 95 {Sweet & Sinister}

Day 95

That's how I feel today.

I had so much fun playing with this picture in PSE.

Speaking of pictures, I went today and got the last month of my self portraits printed. I get them printed 2x3 size on 8x10 sheets. Since I set my file up in PSE before going to print it, and since most of my pictures are photoshopped and some black and white, some color, some really arted up, I tend to scare the people at the grocery store. Yes, I print these at Hy-Vee since the prints are cheap there. $1.99 each and then this week they were buy one, get one free as well. Today was no exception. I tried to warn the girl that I played with my pictures in Photoshop and that they don't look like normal pictures. She gave me an odd look like what in the world are you talking about. I hung around and she thought the machine was broke with how they were printing....no, your machine's not broke, it's just my pictures. I guess no one but me appreciates the creative aspect of the pictures. Oh well. I love it, so that's all that matters.

Fun Pics!

Yes, I realize that Easter was over, but after Easter Jason picked up some little containers with candy in them and I knew I had to take a picture of them. Then I was at Michael's today and all their Easter stuff was 80% off and I seen the Peeps and thought that would make a cute picture.

Day 94 {Shoppin'}

Day 94

Went grocery shopping today with coupons in hand. Hit up Target and Hy-Vee our two typical stops for groceries.
The black & white box, is my coupon box.

Brain Purge

I had a few blog entry ideas roaming around in my head, and been meaning to post about them, but I haven't yet. Some are just fleeting thoughts that I typically forget, other times they are entries that I actually start composing in my head, that I never get down on here.

When I went to the doctor appointment for my hand, I also asked the doctor what is the process to start seeing someone for my depression. I hate admitting that I'm feeling down yet again, I feel like I need the help. Turns out that I get to go back and have a lovely half hour appointment with my normal doctor. They typically don't refer the cases out to the psychologists/psychiatrists unless absolutely necessary. Anyway, I'm fine with that and my appointment is set up for next week. I'm very nervous about it. But I'm determined to go through with the appointment. I did give him a *very* brief history, saying that I was on Zoloft a while back, and he thought that might help again. I remember thinking that the Zoloft didn't help me much, but then again, that's what Sue says with her meds, and we know when she does not take them.

In happier news, I recently got Photoshop Elements 6 and Scott Kelby's book, "The Photoshop Elements 6 Book for Digital Photographers." I'm LOVING it so far. I actually gone through the book straight through, I've been picking and choosing what to read based on what help my pictures need. I do plan on going through the entire book eventually. I highly recommend the book. What an eyeopener! It's just what I needed. It's a full color book, with step by step instructions that are easy to follow.

This week I've been in a baking/cooking kick. In planning next weeks meals, I'm even trying a new recipe. I think when I'm off work tomorrow I'm going to make Cinnamon Rolls. Yummy. I've been craving them for a while now, and have never made them before. Just what I need when I'm unhappy with my weight right? *eyeroll*

I've really missed scrapbooking while my hand was healing. I've gone months before without scrapbooking, but I've really been in the mood to and not able to. I think I will clean up my area and bit and pull some stuff out again to work on. I really need to get caught up on my photo a day scrapbook. I think I'm 2 months behind still, at least. But what is the point in being caught up? If I ever get caught up scrapbooking, I won't have anything to scrap and I don't want that!

I also need to get some of my pictures transferred over to photoshop in the correct size to print. I think I will do that this afternoon. Hy-Vee is having a buy one get one free print sale, so they should be cheap. Yay!

Day 93 {New Toys!}

Day 93

Since I got PSE 6 for almost free, I had to buy the Scott Kelby book for it. I have been having so much playing and trying stuff! That is how I spent my afternoon today.

Day 92 {Cookin'}

Day 92
Today I was in the mood today to play and be creative in the kitchen. With my hand I haven't done much cooking or anything creative.

I ended up making 9 dozen Peanute Butter Blossom Cookies, a double batch of Cheddar Bay Biscuits, pot roast with potatoes and carrots, and a cold tuna pasta salad. Now we have food and leftovers for a while now.

I love spending time in the kitchen.