wow...

So next Sunday I have to drop off my stuff at the LSS for the scrapbooking garage sale. So far I'm working on paper. I love my paper, have a ton of it. I have pared it down to 21 1/2 inches of paper. :D That is impressive to me!!!!!! Now I need to go through and package the other paper up and price it and toss it in a box to go to the sale.

Better get back to work! :)

Lyrics

I love music. I honestly couldn't survive without music. This morning, I'm sitting here, checking out my boards with CMT on in the background, and a song by Rascal Flatts comes on that I've heard before, but today I really listen to the lyrics. So powerful. Here are the lyrics. This song is well worth the download.

Stand

by Rascal Flatts

You feel like a candle in a hurricane

Just like a picture with a broken frame

Alone and helpless

Like you've lost your fight

But you'll be alright

[Chorus:]

Cause when push comes to shove

You taste what you're made of

You might bend, till you break

Cause its all you can take

On your knees you look up

Decide you've had enough

You get mad you get strong

Wipe your hands shake it off

Then you Stand, Then you stand

Life's like a novel

With the end ripped out

The edge of a canyon

With only one way down

Take what you're given before its gone

Start holding on, keep holding on

[Repeat Chorus]

Everytime you get up

And get back in the race

One more small piece of you

Starts to fall into place

Ooohhh

[Repeat Chorus]

It's been a while since I wrote an actual blog entry so I thought I would share some of what's going on in my life, which at the moment will more than likely be boring to everyone, but oh well. I don't care.

First, I still love my hair. I was so nervous going into work at first, but everyone complimented me on it and seemed to really like it. So the good news is, I still have a job, LOL. :) Seriously now, I wasn't worried about getting fired.

Speaking of work, one of the new instructors that was hired less than a year ago is leaving us. :( She is so much fun, went out with her to a happy hour and had a blast. I'm sad that she is leaving, but on the other hand, it is a great opportunity for her, so I'm happy for her. I'm still looking for a new job. I really don't want to be an Administrative Assistant anymore, I don't think it's me. I enjoy doing the paper work, creating documents and such, but I need a change. As for what kind of change, I have no freaking clue. I've been watching the job postings here at work, and also the state/county jobs and also looking in the newspaper and online to see what all there is. There have been some that have piqued my interest, but upon looking further into them, I don't think that they were for me, or if I did, then the pay is too low. My dream is to go part time somewhere or be a stay at home wife.

I'm working on making stuff to put up on Etsy for sale, to see how it goes. It's cheaper than ebay so it's all good. I figure why not. I've got nothing to lose. I gotta keep plugging away at that. Aside from working on that stuff, I've been going through my scrapbooking stuff for the scrapbook garage sale at my LSS (local scrapbook store) the end of the month. I stopped in last night and paid for my table. They saved the number 1 slot for me, LOL, it was hilarious. :) I also sorta got offered a job there too. I will think on that for a bit. I love the store, and as long as it's very part time, which I think it will be, mainly filling in for people, I think I will take it. But I'm not 100% sure yet. I think it would be a great diversion from the normal work I do though.

Jason and I have been talking about kids again. We've been trying to get pregnant since December, 2003. So we have been trying for 3 years 4 months. As much as it kills me to say this, I don't think that we will be having kids. We've been to the dr's and everything and the next step would be fertility drugs. We aren't ready for that and I don't know if we ever will be. It kills me that I've not able to give Jason the kids that he wants. I remember him saying that he wanted to be a dad before he was 30....that obviously didn't happen. I just want everyone to stop asking me, so are you two ever going to have kids? I smile and say, possibly. But in side my head, I want to strangle them and scream and cry do you know how fucking bad it hurts that we haven't been successful in getting pregnant??? Do you know how bad it hurts to be asked that damn near every time we get together and see family?? It kills me. I just want to cry. So now, for those of you that watch our ebay stuff, expect to see a bunch of baby clothes/items up in the future. I get tears in my eyes every time I walk into the spare bedroom and see that stuff. We were thinking ahead and bought it on clearance thinking that it was a great deal and that we would get to use it one day, but for now, all it causes is pain, and it's taking up space, so selling it goes. It's going to be hard to go through that stuff. Anyone near Roch want/need a highchair? We have one of those to that needs to go. So please, don't ask couples, when they will be having kids. You just might get strangled.

Now onto happier things. Jason and I are going to see Kenny Chesney on Sunday, May 13. I'm so looking forward to that!!! It's going to be an awesome concert. I'm just say that I have to work on Monday and can't get the day off. :( Then on July 12 (Jason's birthday) we are going to go and see the Twins. My first baseball game ever. I think it's going to be so much fun. :) We got 2nd row seats on the third baseline by the bull pen. I guess those are decent seats, I don't know, LOL. All I know is that I better see Joe Mauer while we are there, LOL. Last year I kinda started to get into baseball since Jason had it on. He had it on in the background in the evenings while I scrapbooked, and I started watching it. So now he's finally going to take me to my first game. :)

Speaking of scrapbooking, I'm taking a class on Digital Scrapbooking over at www.bigpicturescrapbooking.com It's a four week class and with different lessons and chats with the instructor each week. Last nights chat seemed really slow and unorganized. I wasn't impressed at all with it. But I did get one LO (layout or page for you non-scrappers) done, and now I need to do another one. I'm actually learning to use PSE 5 (PhotoShop Elements 5.0) rather than just stumble around it. I can't wait to see what else we learn in the coming weeks.

Now onto the gaming part of my life. It was announced earlier this week that Halo3 beta will be released to those who got accepted on May 16 and run through June 5, I believe. 21 days of playing Halo 3. It's going to be sweet. I'm so looking forward to it!!!! I love Halo, that is the one game that I can pick up at any time and just play. I'm not the best at it, but it's so much fun. And that's all that matters. Jason downloaded something on xboxlive marketplace last night and played it for me this morning. It was kinda like a making of Halo3. So cool, and showed the game in action. They are adding a bunch of stuff in to make the game more interesting, rather than just run around and shoot basically. I can't wait!!! I wonder if I can find a link on youtube or something to link here. Wow, that didn't long to find. I found it. Check it out. :)

http://www.youtube.com/v/84Xj6Lg-NkI

Since this is my blog, and it is all about me, I need to vent for a minute. I just got back from going to the bathroom, (yea, I know, you didn't really to know that, but it's part of the story here, so deal with it), and a co-worker happened to meet up in the hallway with me and we chit chatted as we walked down the hall, then I go into the bathroom and she goes into the stall next to mine and is still chattering away! WTF??? Why do people think it's ok to talk to you while your in a public bathroom??? It's like, leave me the hell alone and let me pee in peace. That is one thing that really irks me.

Want to know something else that annoys me? No? Well too bad, you are anyway. Since your still reading this massive entry, you must be bored. I hate the squeaky sound of windshield wipers when the window is sorta wet, but not quite. That sounds is like fingernails on the blackboard, I hate it.

Now since I need to end the entry on a good note, here are a couple of things that make me happy.

My red hair. I feel that this is so totally me. I love it. I'm a bit concerned about keeping it up, but I hope Jason will think that it's so totally worth it.

I love snuggling up on the couch and watching a TV show or a movie. It's so warm and cozy and loving. I love the rain. I love sitting by the window, reading a book, listening to the rain, watching it hit the window, I just love it. I remember when I was a teenager, it was down pouring outside and I commented to dad, I've always wanted to dance in the rain. He grabbed me, and pulled me outside and we danced in the rain. That was one day when he wasn't drunk, one of the happy memories. I loved the spontaneity of it, it's one of my fondest memories with dad. I hope that dad does stuff like that with mom and the girles. I'm afraid that he doesn't. They need to have happy memories like that too......

Oh, I'm looking for book recommendations. Anyone have any? Lately I've been into kinda vampirey/dark books, but nothing too, horrorish, lol. Let me know what your reading, always looking for new books to check out. :)

Hair

Lately I've been itching for a change of some sort. There are many things that I could change, but after reading a thread on 2peas about party hair, I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to get my hair done how I've always wanted. I looked at the dress code policy at work, and there was nothing about natural colored air. I figured since I wasn't going pink or green or anything I should be fine, since the policy didn't specifically say anything. I talked to Jason, and he was so excited about it. I called around to salons this morning to see if anyone had appointments for today open. Of course one of the more expesive salons did, but that's fine. I took it. I got really nervous after making the appointment, and especically after Mary Ann, my stylist, started rinsing the colors out. She really didn't say anything, except that it's vibrant. Umm...ok. Once my hair was rinsed out, and then washed and conditioned, she gave me a little bit of a trim, and finally started to straighten it. Then she cut it a little more and gave me more of an actual style than I came in with. Finally I got to put my glasses on and looked at myself in the mirror. I LOVED it. So much. It's EXACTLY as I imagined. I am a bit nervous about going back to work on Tuesday, but I hope that everyone will be accepting of it. I feel this is me. This is who I am. This makes me SO HAPPY. I think I found part of me again. So very happy.

If you want to see more pics, then check out my slideshow like below. :)

http://s22.photobucket.com/albums/b328/AmPooh/?action=view&current=1176004367.pbw

Dangerous

So some of you know that I don't really like coffee. But I will admit that every now and then I treat myself to Starbucks. Typically a Venti, non-fat, Cafe Vanilla Latte. Or if it's warm out, a Venti, non-fat Cafe Vanilla Bean Frappuccino, no whip. If I want to splurge even more, I get the whip cream on there, LOL. My office is far enough away from Starbucks at work, there is one at Target, but that is far enough away from the house as well, where it's not convenient, and there is one about a mile away from the scrapbooking store. Typically I get one maybe once a month. Although when I picked up the girlies I splurged and had a latte on the way up and a frappuccino on the way back, and then my scrapbooking retreat weekend, I splurged as well, since Starbucks was right below us.

So I just read the local news blog, where there all of business type news is updated daily. I read that the Hy-Vee that we do all of our grocery shopping at is being remodeled to include a full Starbucks, complete with seating area. This store is 0.8 miles away from my house according to map quest. There goes my diet.....I'm going to be in trouble.......

Dreams

My chocolate of choice is the Dove Dark Chocolate Promises, kept in the fridge of course. On the wrapper of each piece of chocolate, there is a "promise." On one of them I recently got it said, "Make a list of your dreams." So that is what I'm going to do.....some of these may not be dreams per say, but things I want to do...some of them will never happen, others may. I thought this was kind of fun.....

~Dreams~

~Work part-time or be a stay at home wife

~Open my own craft business, starting on Etsy, to see how it goes.

~Continue my weight loss journey, so I'm not considered overweight.

~Move out of our current house into one better suited for us, preferably in the country.

~Figure out who I am

~Be completely, 100% debt free

~Figure out what makes me happy

~Embrace my creativeness

~Look into a new job

~Vi st the ocean

~Go to Paris

~Be a mom

~See Kenny Chesney in concert

~Be more confident

~Go to CKU

~Be comfortable in my own skin

~Embrace who I am, when I figure it out

~Put myself first and not everyone else

~Hop on a plane for a spur of the moment trip alone somewhere I have never been

~Be more spontaneous