Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Have you ever looked back on your life and realize that this is where you thought you would be in life?

Tonight for some reason I'm in this mood and reflecting...and honestly, it's not a good thing.

Right now I'm 27. By this age, this is how I always imagined it would be.

I thought that by this age that I would be happily married, with 2.3 kids. Like the typical American family. I would be a stay at home mom for the children while my husband worked. I would have meals on the table, homemade, and would spend hours playing with the kids and scrapbooking a bit as time allowed. I would be living up north somewhere closer to my family. I wouldn't have to worry about money. I would have a large garden. Before I got married I would have traveled through Europe. I would have gone on vacations to Florida, California, and I would be very close to my family. Grandpa would have held my first born child. We would have a 3 generation photo taken.

It makes me feel like I am a failure. I know that I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. How wrong is it to feel this way? I know that I shouldn't look back, but I do. I wish I could simply look forward and move forward.....